I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
