I wanna bring you to show and tell
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
