my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
