I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize