It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
We named our party play list daddy issues
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize