when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I would ride that face into the sunset
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
