I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize