And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
