Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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