He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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