It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
