Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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