He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
