the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
