I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
