Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
