Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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