I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize