Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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