Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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