Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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