We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
