you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
