my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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