She is in my trunk
I'm jealous of your bromance
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
