Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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