i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Randomize
