ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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