the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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