I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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