I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
