We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
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someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
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We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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