he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
