He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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