I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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