im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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