D3 body, D1 cock
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
