My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Randomize
