its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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