well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize