What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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