This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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