so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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