let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
