Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
