Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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