we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
