I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
