do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
