You just made me feel so damn special
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
So much rum. So many feels.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
