Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
