are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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