Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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