I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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