So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
