is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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