I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
