i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
