do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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