I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
