His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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